As a Boy
by Zialina
Summary: Hey. I'm Crystal & I'm very unique, see. Be honest, met any girls that claim they're actually boys? Well astonishingly, my name would be found in that category because I, Crystal Roberts, enrolled into Hogwarts as a boy. Crazy, right?


**A/N**  
>Hi.<br>You may've seen this fanfiction before. I've edited it a little and am now reposting it here :). Thank you for clicking on this story.

I'd been in this school for more than twenty-four hours and yet I was still being labelled "the new kid". I mean, how long was it supposed to take before I was bloody called by my rightful birth name Crystal Roberts? Then again, if anyone in this school called me that I'd be quite horrified. And I'd probably make a dash for it.

You see, everyone here at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry thinks I'm a boy called Caspian. When in actual fact, Caspian is my real, living, breathing twin brother who – if you bothered to look around – you would find partying his young days away in some anonymous magical boy's school in America. When I was younger, I always thought that I'd go to Hogwarts School. But then my dreams were cruelly shattered on my eleventh birthday when my stupid, selfish father dropped the bomb that I'd be going to Salem Witches Academy in America so that I could learn how to be a proper "respectable woman". What a big, fat joke! Now that I think about it, I can't believe I actually let the bastard cart me off to a shitty school halfway across the world!

Anyway, I moved to bloody America and attended Salem for five frustrating years, while Caspian sent me amusing letters about escapades with the other fellas to other states and such. I was pretty jealous. It was a complete and utter nightmare attending Salem, I tell you. Horrendous! There was no Quidditch, or "masculine subjects" like Care of Magical Creatures. Instead, there were lessons like "Etiquette" and "Appearance". What a bloody joke. I bawled my eyes out when I found all of this out, of course, and threw a few noisy tantrums. Father moved to friggin' Kenya in response and sent my letters back unopened. Bastard!

Last summer however… the old man actually replied! As you would expect, the contents of the letter didn't concern me or my dilemma at all. Not even a "Hello Crystal, dear. How is your breast development coming along? I trust they've spelled them to a DD by now." Instead, the _entire_ thing was addressed to Caspian and sent to me. What a thick-skinned bastard! It said that Caspian was to move to Britain immediately and enrol into Hogwarts School. I mean, _helloooo_! What about me? Was I _invisible_? Fortunately for me, Caspian didn't want to leave his all his cool new bros behind and casually suggested that _I_ go to Hogwarts… as a boy. As him, since we're _identical twins_. And me – being an idiot who never thinks things through (like my father) – jumped with joy at the idea.

So here I am.

At Hogwarts, day two.

As a bloody boy.

"Ouch!" I yelped, clutching my stinging cheek and glaring with teary eyes at the redhead sitting beside me. "What the hell was that for?"

Molly Prewett shrugged and picked up her spoon. "Well you zoned out and I decided that hitting you when you began showing signs of normality would be fun."

I'd only met Molly Prewett yesterday, but so far I thought it was pretty clear she was a sadist of some sort.

I glowered at the evil girl and chewed on a spoon of cheesy beans. I was quite tempted to slap her back, but y'know there would probably be an uproar if I did because I was supposed to be a _guy_ and she was a poor defenceless little _girl_. Mudapucker.

Defenceless, my ass. The girl was a menace to society. She could probably beat me up.

I honestly couldn't see why guys even liked girls. They were the epitome of evil. They would beat up you just because they felt like it and you couldn't do a thing about it for fear of being labelled a 'Woman Beater'.

Unfortunately, I was forced to put up with _this_ particular one because she was the only person who was willing to make friends with the new effeminate boy and I'd already been lost enough times, thank you very much. The four boys in my dorm weren't much help. They were all too busy with their cult assignments, or whatever. According to the few whispers that had actually reached my ears, they were all part of some secret society called the 'Marauders'.

Molly and Dorcas Meadowes were the only ones who'd even _attempted_ to converse with me so far. Everyone else had kept their wary distance because they'd never seen a transfer student before. You would've assumed I was some sort of orange-skinned, three-eyed beast. One that was unapproachable as he breathed poison. Well, they were all idiots like my dim-witted father. _Eediats_.

I licked the cheese off my spoon and dropped it into the bowl with a clatter. Molly was still eating and I didn't really know my way around so I drummed my fingers on the table impatiently. There was no way I was getting lost again. I'd ended up in backed into a brick wall last time, surrounded by Vampire Bats. I'd had to be rescued by a bloody Giant.

"Ooh, I see a bitch." Molly announced loudly, wiping her mouth on the sleeve of her robes. I gaped at her. You could be given a _detention_ for having such bad manners in Salem!

I followed Molly's gaze towards three familiar girls headed towards the Gryffindor table. I'd seen them before actually – they'd been staring at me this morning and it'd creeped me out a little. The girl at the front was a redhead too, but while Molly's hair was more ginger than red, hers was auburn. She shot Molly a nasty glare and sat down opposite me demurely. Her two brunette followers plodded down on either side of her.

"_Prewett_," the she spat, lip curled and completely ready for a bitch fight.

"_Evans_," Molly retorted with just as much venom and spite. She surveyed her levelly. "Do you need something?"

Lily Evans! Oh yeah, Molly had told me about her earlier. Apparently she was a real bitch, but a suck-up when it came to the professors.

"I'm not here for you, fool," Lily snapped, flicking her hair over her shoulder superiorly. To my utter horror, she then turned her emerald gaze onto me.

"Uh… hi," I said awkwardly after a long pause. What the hell did she want from me? I didn't know her! And as far as I knew, I hadn't offended her in any way… Oh man, now that I was a guy, I wouldn't be able to do anything if she decided she wanted to slap me like Molly had earlier.

"Hello, Caspian Roberts," she said surprisingly kindly. "I'm Lily Evans, one of Gryffindor's prefects."

I nodded, wide-eyed. Okay…

"Would you like me to show you around after you finish your dinner?" She added, fluttering her abnormally long eyelashes at me suggestively and quite suddenly, I recoiled.

Was…?

Was she _flirting_ with me?

_Merlin's pants!_

"No, no!" I cried hastily, waving my arms about wildly. "I'm okay! I'm fine! I have Molly! I know my way!" I grabbed Molly's upper arm and dragged her out of the Great Hall and down the corridor, coming to a breathless stop two floors above.

When I finally released her, I was gulping in oxygen desperately and my lungs were on fire. I'd never run so fast in my friggin' life! Slowly, I calmed down and slapped a hand to my forehead. "Bloody hell," I wailed, pounding the wall miserably. What was I thinking when I decided to come here as a boy? Was I barmy? What if this happened again?

I turned to sob miserably on Molly's shoulder, but she wasn't there. And so I looked down and there she was – rolling on the floor hysterically, clutching her belly with one hand and pointing at me with the other in silent laughter. There were even tears rolling down her cheeks.

What a bitch.

"Y-your f-_face_!" She spluttered, attempting to stand up but failing.

I pulled her up grudgingly and crossed my arms over my chest irately.

After a few minutes, Molly wiped the tears off her face and let out an erratic sigh of content. "Merlin, you are the funniest guy I've met in my life," she declared happily. "From now on, Caspain, you're my very best friend."

That night, (as a reward, I think) Molly took me exploring. We scared the crap out of ourselves in the Forbidden Forest, visited the personification of rejection (Rubeus Hagrid) in his hut and caught Lily Evan's minions Marlene McKinnon and Mary Macdonald snogging.

Ok, that last bit was a lie, but we _did_ catch two girls snogging. Hehehe. Molly seemed to know who they were, but sadly, I didn't quite catch their faces.

At ten, I made my excuses, left Molly and ran to the nearest bathroom. I almost stepped into the girl's before I remembered myself and reluctantly entered the boy's instead. Astonishingly, it wasn't as filthy as I'd always believed. In fact it was quite clean. The only difference was the strangely shaped sinks on the walls. I didn't even think they were sinks…

I hurriedly locked myself into one of the toilets, discarded my robes and examined my chest.

My boobs had returned.

You see at 10:00 P.M. every night, it's imperative that I redo _the spell_. This spell would make my boobies disappear until that time came around again. I wouldn't be able to see them and unless someone touches my chest, they won't reappear out of the blue again. Weird spell, I know. It would've been a problem if I had a touchy-feely friend, but fortunately that's not the case. Molly's quite cold.

I quickly cast the spell again and put my robes back on.

Being a boy was pretty hard. I was bullied by girls and I wasn't allowed to retaliate.

I exited the cubicle and wandered over to one of the mirrors above a sink. My familiar grey-blue eyes gazed back at me. My cropped blonde hair hung in my eyes. It was long for a boy, but really short for a girl. In other words, it was just right. The small nose and the slender build was still the same. I was pretty tall for a girl, so nobody commented on my height. Overall, I still basically looked like a girl except for the shorter hair and the absent boobs and yet, nobody questioned my gender.

What was I talking about, anyways? I should've been rejoicing about the fact that nobody knew I wasn't really Caspian. I sighed. I guess I just missed being a girl – and it was only the second day at Hogwarts!

The door of the boy's bathroom banged open and two boys strolled in casually. I recognized them immediately 'cos they slept in the same dorm as me. Both of them belonged to the Marauder Cult – as I'd named it – and they were both pretty popular too. The dark one with the regal looks smirked at me. The other guy with the permanently electrocuted hair and the round spectacles glared menacingly at me for some reason. According to the grapevine, their names were Sirius Black and James Potter.

They stood about five feet away from me.

All was silent.

"What do you want?" I asked sourly after a very long and pregnant pause. I was so not in the mood, but if I were still a girl, I would've said that the Black was checking me out and Potter had a bone to pick with me. But I'd seen Black snogging a girl yesterday and I was supposed to be an oblivious guy.

"Rumour has it," Black began slowly. "That you were flirting with Lily Evans at dinner."

I rolled my eyes exasperatedly. "_Omygod_, are you for real? _A)_ Evans was flirting with _me_ – and personally found it very disturbing. And _B)_ why the hell is even any of your business?"

Black raised an incredulous eyebrow and turned to Potter. "Prongs, he's a queer! He sounds like a bloody girl!"

I stiffened and I could've sworn that my eye twitched. "Erm… what?" I replied stupidly. Damn, I sounded like an idiot!

Potter wasn't even listening to us. He looked pretty upset. "But Evans would never flirt with you," he whined. "Why would she flirt with _you_?"

"You found it disturbing that she flirted with you?" Black added, keeping the eyebrow raised. "But she's hott, dude." Potter turned to glare at Black for a few moments, and then turned back to me expectantly.

They were expecting me to answer? Damn.

"I-I just got out of a, um… _heartbreaking_ relationship and I still, erm… have feelings for my ex," I explained unconvincingly, eyes darting to the doorway behind them. No escape. "So it was kind of… _weird_ having Evans flirt with me, y'know…"

Ok, I was sure that didn't even make sense and _damn_, I was a shit liar!

Black scoffed and Potter glared some more. The boy was going to get wrinkles if he didn't relax a tad. "I swear to Merlin I did _not_ flirt with her!" I yelled. "Why do you even care?"

Potter ignored me. "I'm going to find Evans right now," he announced, and promptly stormed off. One down, two to go. Escape seemed more likely.

Black sighed, relaxing and shook his head. "He'll never find her."

"Whatever," I muttered, quickly heading towards the door. It was probably about ten-thirty by now, waaaay after curfew and I'd definitely get lost. I paused and after a few seconds of weighing my options, turned back to Black who was patiently waiting for me to move out of the doorway. We _did_ live in the same dorm, after all. "Could you show me the way back, please?"

"Sure," he mumbled. "Why not?"

And so, after a few twists and turns, and the realisation that I could've just followed him back to Gryffindor Tower, we found our way back to the common room.

"Where are you going?" Black asked, yawning. "The boy's dorms are that way."

I removed the foot I had on the staircase and climbed up the other. "Oopsies, my bad," I said, trudging up the staircase. There was a heavy silence. I glanced back bemusedly. Black was standing, frozen at the bottom of the stairs, staring up at me in amazement and disbelief.

"Oh my god!" He exclaimed, looking both shocked and horrified at the same time. "You're a fucking _girl_!"

**A/N**  
>In case some of you are thinking, votzefock? - Sirius tricked her and made her go up the girl's staircase to see what would happen. Full explanation in the next chapter :P. Review?<p> 


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